did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
