Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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