How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
