people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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