After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
