I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize