I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
