I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
