He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
