i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
