this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
