What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
