I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You need a sexual gate keeper
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
