weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
