they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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