I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
how drunk are you?
Several
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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