I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
