So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
id be glad to
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
