I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
