Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
