Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
