You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
