OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
