how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize