Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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