Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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