i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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