Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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