So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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