nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
