ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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