nut hugger
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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