I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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