Reggie can tackle my bush.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
