i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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