weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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