Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
