we're blogging at a bar
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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