We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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