This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
