How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
