lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
