Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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