'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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