Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
