do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
