I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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