everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
