dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
