Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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