By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Your penis caused this!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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