so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
