Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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