Whod you bang
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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