the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she smelled like a LAN party
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Hippo gnu deer
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
