Will you blow on my dice?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
