There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
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It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
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I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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