.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize