im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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